


we found love right where we are

by ziamfcks



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bakery, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Bottom Harry, Bottom!Harry, First Time, Football Player Louis, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Top Louis, theres an angry drunk scene at one point, top!Louis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-08
Updated: 2014-07-08
Packaged: 2018-02-07 22:40:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1916652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ziamfcks/pseuds/ziamfcks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>when Louis starts his job at Betsy's Bakery he doesn't expect a curly haired boy with shiny green eyes and a whole lot of charm to sweep him off his feet </p>
<p>it happens anyway</p>
            </blockquote>





	we found love right where we are

**Author's Note:**

  * For [NiallsMafia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NiallsMafia/gifts).



> basically rn i cant say much here so i'll edit it later when i can. i gotta be vague though. So i had alot of fun writing this fic, its the longest finished fic ive ever done which is not saying much bc this is pretty short. thank you to my beta who i will link later for being my cheerleader and for editing my horrible grammer. i couldnt have done it without you. :)
> 
> disclaimer: i dont own one direction. i really only own alot of posters of them. but other than that nothing. please keep the fourth wall intact and dont send it to one direction or anyone closely asssociated with them. 
> 
> enjoy:)

The day they first meet is like any other. It’s a bit dreary down in London, a light rain drizzling over the city making everything look a bit hazy. The rain that falls makes soft music against the roof and Harry hums along, singing under his breath the way he always does, rain or shine. He’s got on skinny jeans, as always and a plain t-shirt. His flour covered apron is tied haphazardly around his slim hips and his curls are messy, like he’s just woken up. He has them pushed back with a headband so he can see the dough he’s working with.

Louis is rushing to be on time, as always. He has his long jacket on that’s supposed to protect him from the rain but mostly it just makes his skin scratchy. He can’t afford much more than what he has though, so he makes do. He’s forgone the umbrella thinking he won’t get that wet but here he is now, running down London’s side streets in his shitty rain-jacket, and getting absolutely soaked despite the rain fall being light. He finally spots the bakery in his line of view and breathes out a sigh of relief.

When he finally gets to the door, his caramel fringe is damp and flat and he wishes he hadn't spent so much time trying to look nice. It got ruined anyway and maybe he would’ve been on time. He pushes open the door and the light tinkling bell alerts the Harry that someone’s arrived. Harry scurries out of the back and grabs a towel on his way up to the front to go to the register. A wide smile forms on his face, his dimples appearing and his emerald green eyes twinkling.

“Hello, welcome to Betsy’s Bakery,” he says with genuine enthusiasm, “I’m Harry. Can I interest you in some red velvet cupcakes? Everyone says they’re the best around,” he says, and wiggles his brows in this stupidly attractive way that makes Louis giggle. 

“Oh, no thank you. Not right now at least. I’m actually here for my first day?” He phrases hesitantly to the pretty boy with the messy apron and jam on his cheeks. Harry’s eyes widen in understanding and he moves around the counter quickly. 

“Oh! You must be Louis then, right? Barbara told me to expect you.” He says and smiles warmly at Louis. “Come around the counter and I’ll show you around.”

Louis does just that, walking around the counter and through the little doors that squeak a little as they swing. Harry hands him a brand new apron with the words Betsy’s Bakery embroidered into the little chest pocket and Louis puts it on quickly as Harry explains everything. 

Louis thinks it’s all fairly simple and while he knows it’ll take him a few days to learn the coffee machine he knows the rest will be easy. He’s thankful for the notebook of instructions Harry gives him, though. It’s in his nicest handwriting and even though it looks like chicken scratch and has bits of cookie dough and coffee spilled over it, it’s still readable. He smiles at Harry and thanks him for the help before Harry disappears into the back to continue baking. 

The rest of the first day is spent with Louis juggling coffee orders and trying to stack them without them falling. He only has to call back for Harry twice, and even then it’s just to refill the case. Harry comes out carrying trays of freshly baked and frosted cupcakes, and there’s a visible rush of teenage girls that sigh dreamily at him and Louis just rolls his eyes. He realizes Harry is not hard on the eyes, what with the pretty curls and the dimples but honestly, it’s a bit ridiculous. If he had glanced inside he’d think all the girls in here would have just come for those few moments of Harry before realizing that’s probably the case. The pastries are just a bonus to the show that is Harry Styles.

|+|

Louis is wiping down the counter at the end of the day when Harry comes out from the back carrying two large garbage bags. He sets them down so he can put up the closed sign. Louis glances up as he wrings out the dishrag and he licks his lips. Harry grabs the other dish towel and gets to work on the tables.

“You don’t have to-” He protests, but Harry cuts him off.

“I know I don’t, I want to. Gotta get out of the back, you know?” He says gently, and smiles. Louis smiles back politely and hurries to finish the rest of his work. He’s just about to leave when Harry stops him and hands him a little pastry box meant for one cupcake. He looks up in confusion, and smiles softly. “What’s this?” He asks and Harry crosses one arm over his chest to hold his other arm as he turns back and forth. 

“It’s a cupcake. It’s vanilla… I always send everyone home with a small pastry or baked good, so they can have something nice to take home,” he explains. “So every night everyone can go home with something to look forward to,” he adds, a bit softer, and Louis finds himself grinning at the words.

“Thank you. I’ll eat it after dinner,” he promises before he moves around to the back room for the employees so he can collect his things. He pulls his bag over his shoulders and holds the single cupcake box in his hands as he walks back to his flat in the drizzling rain. 

|+|

Louis enters the flat with his hair dripping down his cheeks, and he sets his things out and leaves the cupcake on the counter so he can get to it later. Liam is cooking in his kitchen, and Louis knows that means Zayn is home. Zayn is his flat mate, and Liam is Zayn’s boyfriend. Louis was better friends with Zayn, they’d come from the same beginnings. Big family, lots of sisters, the only boy. It’s hard to say who had it tougher between Zayn’s family crisis and Louis’ lack of a father figure, and having to grow up too fast. 

Liam is on the footie team with him, though, and that practically makes them brothers. They have each other’s backs on the pitch and off. They became proper friends within the first year of uni, bonding over more than the ball they played with on the field, superheroes, drinking, and music. Soon after, he introduced Liam to Zayn, and although both of them put up a fight to date, eventually they got together and everyone was happier because of it. At least after the honeymoon phase, and them fucking like jackrabbits. Louis, for one, was happy he didn’t have to listen to Zayn’s high pitched moans, and Liam pounding Zayn so hard the headboard slammed into the wall. 

Plus, with Liam practically living with them, he keeps their flat a bit cleaner, and he cooks. Both chores Louis and Zayn cannot do very well. Louis burns everything he cooks in the kitchen, and Zayn can barely pour milk into his cereal. Liam is well equipped to deal with both of them. 

Louis sniffs the air and looks over Liam’s shoulder. He eyes the noodles in the pan and Liam laughs before elbowing him in the ribs, and uses his free hand to twist behind Louis and tickle him. Louis squeals and jumps back before grabbing a dishtowel and whipping it at Liam’s arse. 

“Oi! Hands off my boyfriend!” Zayn yells from the living room, where he’s sprawled out on the couch in his joggers and one of Liam’s shirts. He has the Xbox controller in his hands, and Call of Duty on their flat screen. It’s pretty much the nicest thing they own and it’d taken a year of overtime on both their part time jobs to buy it, but it had been worth it. 

“My hands weren’t on his arse. The dishtowel was, and now I’ll have to burn it.” Louis says with a laugh and plops down next to Zayn, picking up the other controller. He stops the game and adds himself in so Zayn and he can play while dinner is being cooked. 

The routine goes as usual, video games, dinner, talking of new superhero movies or any movies, Zayn and Louis doing duel clean-up in the kitchen, because it’s the least they can do when Liam cooks them dinner every night. Then Liam and Zayn close themselves off for the night and Louis hears the TV going in their room so he assumes it’s just a cuddling night. 

Louis scoops up his cupcake package and takes it to his room. He closes the door and gets into his bed before opening the box to eat the cupcake. Inside the cupcake is perfect, round at the top and perfectly risen, the cupcake fills the paper wrapping so it isn’t half a cupcake like some places serve. It looks like Harry has done a swirl of icing like he would’ve for an ice cream cone, and the icing is a mix of vanilla and chocolate buttercream. Louis hums appreciatively and picks it up so he can eat it, but before he does, he sees that there’s a little note attached to the bottom of the wrapper. He pulls it off and his eyes scan over the paper. 

‘Hope your first day was extra sweet… Here’s a cupcake as a treat!’ The note reads, scrawled in Harry’s chicken script, but it seems to be the nicest version of it, even nicer than how he’d written all the directions in his notebook. It makes Louis smile big and he’s amazed at how dorky this boy is, and yet still amazingly brilliant. 

|+|

The next few weeks go like that, uni, football, work, home, dinner, and cupcake. Somehow he’s gotten every flavor of cupcake that the store sells. Louis is pretty sure Harry’s going out of his way to make him flavors that the shop doesn’t even serve anymore, and some of them are so weird, like banana cream pancake or maple leaf bacon, but they all taste brilliant. Even when Louis doesn’t think they will, they end up exceeding his expectations, and Harry never seems to run out of cupcake ideas. Or little poems. Louis has taken a liking to pinning the Polaroid’s he takes of each cupcake to his wall with the notes attached. He has a collage of colors and notes beside his bed, and most of the time he just stares at them before he goes to sleep. 

But in the month that he has known Harry, it isn’t much more than spending time at the bakery together, mostly because he’s busy with uni, and football practice, and his friends, and he assumes Harry is the same. Probably more, because how could a boy like that not have a million friends, plus a girlfriend. Or boyfriend. Harry seems pretty flexible about that kind of stuff. 

In that month he learns that he enjoys working with the lad. He also learns that they go to the same university and Harry even has a professor Louis had when he’d first started. He learns Harry makes the stupidest puns and he’s very amused whenever he makes a good one. He memorizes the stupid dimples on Harry’s face when he’s preparing to tell and joke, and he learns they both went to a concert at the same venue when they were younger, and that their taste in music is similar. 

“That’s wicked, mate. And the opening band for them was amazing,” Louis says one day as he’s scrubbing down the tables while Harry sweeps. 

“I got there four hours early to get in right when the gates opened. And it didn’t even matter because everyone shoved in front of me anyway,” Harry says and shakes his head. Louis laughs and moves to another table. 

“Hey, there’s a shitty cover band playing at the park this weekend, me and few of my mates are going to see them. They say it’s a right laugh. You wanna come?” He encourages and bumps his hip against Louis’. “Drinks on me.” 

Louis laughs again, and shakes his head fondly at the table, “’Course. Sounds like a good time. And I’d be a fool to pass up free drinks.” He says and grinned at Harry. 

“Great then. It’s settled. Shitty concert in the park and drinks on me. It’s a date,” he jokes with a wink. Louis laughs at Harry’s teasing flirtations and hurries to finish up cleaning so they can both go home. 

|+|

They text each other every night now, usually Harry will text Louis a dumb joke he thinks of, and Louis will grin stupidly at his phone while Liam and Zayn share looks, because Louis is never this happy. He’s not angry or messed up, but he isn’t the type to stare at his screen and grin when a message pops up either. Though, Louis’ has never been in a situation where he’s liked a boy this much.

All through high school he’d been out, because he was fairly out there anyway. It never took much for people to guess that about him, his mum had been accepting, letting him date girls all through secondary and didn’t blink when he decided he liked boys. She promised as long as he was happy, that she was okay with it all. His sisters didn’t mind much, because they could hardly tell there was a difference. He was still their brother and they loved him all the same.

He was a theatre kid and a sports guy, the class clown and Mr. Popular. He was the star player on his old school’s football team, and he got all the lead roles in the schools musicals and plays. It didn’t matter that his grades weren’t ace—they were good enough to get him through school and that’s all he needed. He had done well enough, getting his act together to get a scholarship to university for football and now he was serious about his life. Studying to get his degree in education, he isn’t sure if he wants to teach drama or something else, but he knows he wants to inspire kids.

He wasn’t new to this liking a boy thing. He was at his third year of university and he’d had his fair share of one night stands and slags at parties, and even a couple long term relationships. Louis had one long term relationship with a boy that lasted his first year of university. They were each other’s firsts with everything, first kiss, first messy blowjob, first fuck, and first love. Or, at least Louis thought it was love. In retrospect, he thinks it seemed more like exploring with each other’s bodies, so they wouldn’t embarrass themselves when the real thing came along.  
|+|  


When Louis is with Harry it isn’t like a movie where time slows down, and they laugh in slow motion, its fast and fun and mind numbing. They go to the movies, and ran down the streets of London doing scavenger hunts in random stores for the most boring things. They have lunch together every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday after their lectures because they go to the same university and all. Harry is studying to be a Physical Therapist, which actually works out great, because Louis and Liam are shit at their stretches, and Harry usually helps them stretch their muscles after intense practices.  


Another thing that begins to happen is that Harry has started coming to Louis’ games. He’s started buying school sweatshirts, and painting his face for every single game. Since the season has begun, Louis is pretty that sure Harry hasn’t missed a single one of his games. He always jogs out onto the pitch, and sees Harry front and center in the sidelines cheering, wrapped in scarves and hats and gloves and sometimes he’s holding signs, and sometimes he’s holding those dumb pom poms they hand out to super-fans. Louis feels like he has his own personal cheerleader, and after every game, whether they win or lose, Harry takes Louis out for ice cream.  


He waits right by the fence on the pitch and lets Louis grab his football bag from the locker room. When Louis learned that Harry started waiting for him after games, he began skipping the shower and just grabbing his bag so he could see those dimples and curls quicker. Harry’s never minded the smell anyway because they walk to the ice cream shop close to Louis’ flat and then go to his. Harry hasn’t started with an overnight bag, but it quickly becomes a thing. Footie game, ice cream, Louis showers, Harry dresses in pajamas, and then they curl up in bed to watch a flick. Both of them usually fall asleep near the end and Louis wakes up to a full breakfast cooked by Liam or Harry.  


He thinks it’s all pretty good. It’s fun, and simple, and easy with Harry. He doesn’t worry if his hair is out of place, or if his feet stink just a little bit, because Harry doesn’t care about that. He’s a friend, and that’s what Louis needs.  


Except for when that isn’t enough anymore. Except when Louis comes home to an empty bed and he longs for Harry to be there. Except when he finishes his game and comes off the pitch to Harry who’s flushed and bright eyed, and grinning like Louis’ just won him a castle. Except when Louis has Harry’s head pressed up against his chest and a movie playing softly in the background as their soundtrack, and Louis wants to kiss Harry until his lips are sore and his mind is numb.  


Louis realizes after months of being friends, that being friends isn’t enough. And he wishes he didn’t feel like that because somehow he knows Harry doesn’t feel the same, and that just isn’t fair. He sees when they study for midterms and Harry sticks his tongue out his mouth to concentrate that Louis will watch as other boys pass by. He sees how when they go to parties Harry will dance with girls and boys alike, and even when he plays a drunk game of spin the bottle, Harry gets into a boys lap and lets him snog him until his lips are puffy and red, and Louis doesn’t think he can watch so he gets up and goes to the loo before he throws up all of his vodka into the toilet. And Harry doesn’t come in like he usually does to rub his back and get him a glass of water. 

Louis has to pull himself off his knees and call Zayn at bloody 2am for a ride back home, and when his best friend sees him red eyed and sickly he doesn’t swear at Louis for waking him up so late. He takes him home and tucks him into bed and doesn’t wake him until he’s good and ready.  


Only then does Louis realize he’s officially screwed. Because somewhere along the line of personal cupcakes and trips to downtown London to ride on the Eye and ice cream after footie, he’s fallen in love with Harry Styles, and Harry doesn’t love him back.  


He’s dealt with this before. He’s dealt with falling in love with his best friend and knowing they aren’t in love with him. He knows what that’s like. He remembers going to his best friend Stan’s house and throwing rocks at his window like a John Hughes movie cliché, and holding his heart above him like a song from a boom box. He knows what it feels like to lose the most important person in your life, and how they don’t return any of your phone calls, but they’re totally okay taking your heart and stomping on it. He doesn’t want to go through that again.  
|+|  


So, Louis starts to cut himself off from Harry. It makes him miserable but he does it, he starts to not return his texts, stays longer in the shower after his games until Zayn texts him that Harry has left, and he doesn’t take home the cupcakes that Harry prepares. He just throws them straight into the trash.  


Louis is having a Harry intervention.  


It’s self-imposed, and Louis thinks that’s supposed to make it better but it absolutely doesn’t. Because if his friends had made the intervention they wouldn’t offer to go out for drinks with him down at the pub, or invite Louis to go see Harry sing at karaoke and maybe sing with him. And if his friends started the intervention they definitely would not have invited Harry into his flat. His flat is his sacred space, and they just bring his personal tall and curly haired drug right into it.  


Louis is standing at the freezer in just his joggers and socks and he hasn’t shaved in a week because fuck, he didn’t have to work or go to lectures, and he’s barely even crawled out of bed. He’s scooping ice cream right out of the carton when Harry walks in behind Zayn and Liam, smiling and laughing at something they’re saying, but it’s forced, Louis can tell. Harry’s real laugh is loud and unafraid, and he’ll throw his head back and letting his dimples shine.  


Louis is frozen in place and he can’t move, can’t even imagine moving if he tried. He’s gross, he hasn’t showered, he’s wallowing in self-pity and he knows it, and that’s why he hasn’t left the house. So he can deliberately avoid Harry, and avoid Harry seeing him like this. Zayn and Liam glance at him and they stop in their tracks too. Louis can see the disappointment in Zayn and Liam’s eyes, and he wants to smack them. They always find a way to make him feel like they’re his parents instead of his friends. “Don’t drink too much of that Louis,” or “eat your veggies, Lou.” It’s always something, and now he can tell they’re doing it silently, and he wants to punch them both in the face.  


He puts the ice cream back in the freezer and throws his spoon into the sink, letting the metal clang angrily before it settles, and he walks past all of them to his room. He doesn’t look back as he slams the door and locks it behind himself before he breaks down.  


He loves Harry. He’d tried to put it off before, but he’s in love with Harry and somehow thinking that not seeing Harry would dull that love was complete bullshit, because every day without him he still falls asleep dreaming about his smile. He still goes to bed and reads over the cupcake notes that are up on his wall, and when he’s sad he goes through the ‘Harry videos’ on his phone that are just of Harry doing stupid shit to make him laugh.  


But he is seeing Harry now, or he did a few minutes ago. He saw him and he saw the look in his eyes. He saw how Harry looked over him and his stupid body and thought about how pathetic he was. He knew that in Harry’s brain he saw Louis, and he thought of how lucky he was to have dodged that bullet, to not have fallen in love with this crazy basket case, the way Louis has fallen for Harry. He could see the pity in his stupid green eyes and he really wants to throw something at him, and yell and kick and scream but he doesn’t.  


Instead Louis goes under his bed for his emergency vodka, and he opens up the fresh bottle before taking a big swig. He finds his little stash of pictures of Harry and pins them up onto his dartboard before he takes his darts and begins to throw.  


It’s stupid he knows, but after thirty minutes he’s thoroughly pissed and he doesn’t give a damn. He’s too drunk to care about anything happening outside because he’s throwing darts hard at Harry’s pictures on the board. He can’t throw proper standing up so he’s leaned back on his dresser, sitting on his lazy bum, and he’s throwing darts like there’s no tomorrow. His arm throws fast, and every time a dart lands on Harry’s pictures he cheers and drinks. Somehow his coordination is worse but he still manages to nick the picture, and he takes longer drinks to make up for the lack of accurate hits.

|+|

Harry and Liam and Zayn can hear Louis in his room, despite the TV volume being louder than normal. Harry sits quietly and tries to ignore it but he can’t because he can hear Louis sobbing and singing and things keep hitting the door and he doesn’t understand what’s going on. Zayn tries to assure him that they need to give him space, he knows Louis needs space in situations like this but Harry can’t do that. He gets up, despite Zayn telling him to sit down, and he continues forward and shakes the doorknob.

“Louis, open the door,” He says and leans his head against it. He hears Louis laughing manically and sighs.

“No! No I will not open the door. This is my sacred place and I don’t need your filthy curls and dimples ruining it!” He shouts and tips the vodka bottle back again, some of it spilling from the corners of his mouth.  


Harry sighs, and glances back at Zayn and Liam who are watching him carefully. “There’s a key on the top of his door,” Liam supplies with a small shrug and Zayn hits him hard with a pillow. “Ow!” Liam yelps.  


“You’re supposed to be his friend!” he scolds and looks at Harry. “But there is. So, just wait a couple minutes for him to calm down, and then go in,” He says and pulls Liam up from the couch. “C’mon. We’re going to bed. Let them have privacy.” He mutters and shuts the door to his bedroom behind them.  


Harry sighs and watches his feet for a few minutes, while he listens to Louis inside his room.  


Louis is still pissed, drunker than he’s been in a while, and he feels sick but he can’t manage to pull himself up to go to a bin or to get himself into bed with a glass of water. He’s given up on the darts because he’s thrown all he has, and if he wants to shoot at Harry’s face again, he’d have to get up and there just isn’t enough coordination for that.  


Harry grabs the key from the top of the door and sticks it into the lock. He jiggles it and presses his shoulder against the door before it finally opens, after the door opens he tucks the key back onto the top of the door jam and walks into the room.  


It’s surprising what he sees when he steps into the room. Louis is no neat freak but this is ridiculous, there are dirty clothes strewn everywhere, half eaten microwave dinners littered around half empty bottles of rum and vodka and wine. Louis himself is laying on the floor with the vodka bottle on his chest, and when he sees Harry he’s livid.  


“What the fuck are you doing?” He asks, but he’s drunk and he can’t keep his accent in check, so ‘fuck’ really sounds like ‘fook’.  


Harry moves forward to try and collect Louis, but Louis shouts and throws the bottle at him. His aim is off so it hits the wall and shatters around Harry’s feet and Harry just sighs heavily, not faltering to pick him up. Louis’ stomach turns, and as soon as Harry has him upright in his arms Louis vomits all over the boy, and that’s the last thing he remembers before passing out.

|+|

Sunlight streams through the windows and Louis groans softly, and he’s regretting not going with Liam to the hardware store to pick out better drapes. His head is pounding with his hangover, and he can hear Zayn singing loudly with Liam in the kitchen. He wishes they were closer to him so he could hit them with a pillow but they aren’t so he just pulls the covers over his head and tries to ignore them.

When that doesn’t work, he pulls the covers back a little so he can look around the room. Everything is a bit groggy and he doesn’t remember much until he spots the two pills and some water on his bedside table. He throws them back and downs the water before he sees the little sticky note.

‘don’t know if you’ll remember, but you were pissed last nite so I cleaned u up and tucked u in. also cleaned ur room. ur a filthy pig :p :) - harry xx’

Louis squints at the note and reads it a couple times before looking around and it all slowly comes back to him. Darts, getting drunk, puking, glass shards, Harry petting his hair and helping him fall asleep. He can’t believe he actually did that. He doesn’t want to believe Harry had seen him drunk off his arse, he can’t believe he’d puked all over Harry. He sits up a bit too quickly, realizing that if Harry cleaned up, Harry had seen the dart board. He ignores his throbbing head and stares at the empty board. He looks in his trash bin but that’s clean too.

He groans loudly and bangs his head against his door a couple times before realizing that won’t help his hangover at all. He yanks on a shirt and sulks into the kitchen, and glares at his two best friends.

Liam notices Louis walk in first so he plates up his veggie omelet and sets it down in front of him along with his bacon, sausage, and yogurt. He doesn’t ask questions, just lets him sit down and eat. Zayn is a little less forgiving.

He slams his plate down and glares at Louis, stabbing his eggs and shoving them into his mouth while chewing angrily. Louis ignores him, opting to drink his orange juice and eat his bacon in silence.

“You’re a right prick, you know that?” Zayn snaps at Louis. Louis pauses, surprised that Zayn is so angry.

“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean,” He says and Zayn groans.

“Oh come off it, you sick shit! You love Harry! I know it, Liam knows it, the whole team knows it, and everyone in my music workshops knows it. The only person in the world who doesn’t fucking know that you’re in love with Harry Styles, is the man himself!” He shouts, Liam places a hand on his back to calm him, but Zayn isn’t having it.

“Well it’s a good thing he doesn’t know, innit? Because he wouldn’t love me back!” Louis yells back and slams his fists on the table. Zayn shoves his chair back and throws his juice onto Louis. He’s so angry, blood boiling he can’t help it.

“He does love you, you dumb twat! You would know that if you just talked about your feelings and sucked it up and told him! He’s fucking over the moon about you! He thinks the sun shines out of your arse, and that you hung the stars in the bloody sky, but you wouldn’t know that because all you do is sit in your room and drink yourself into depression!”

They stare at each other for a few seconds or minutes, Louis isn’t sure how long. He just knows that somewhere in between him and Zayn yelling and glaring, he breaks and tears fill his eyes and he just collapses against the table, head nearly falling into his plate. Liam quickly pulls it away, and Zayn rushes around the table and collects Louis into his arms.

“Oh Lou,” He coos softly and kisses his head as he sobs. This is part of the routine for them, they know how it works, and it’s down to a science. Zayn has to let it run its course every time something significantly bad happens, Louis wallows and drinks and Zayn doesn’t say anything but eventually he gets fed up and they yell, and then Louis breaks down and Zayn comforts him. And it works and it always has so they don’t try and change it.

“I don’t want to be in love with him,” He whispers, voice raspy from screaming and the vomiting from the night prior. “I mean- like I do Zayn. Because he’s great and I couldn’t pick a better person to love. Did you know one time he gave his ice cream to a little girl who was crying? She didn’t even have ice cream before but she was crying and Harry gave her his ice cream and helped her find her mum. He’s good with kids! And he wants to be a doctor and help kids with their sports injuries! Like how he helps me and Liam, except with children! He’s pretty and he cleaned me up last night after I puked on him and threw a vodka bottle at him! He cleaned my room after tucking me in, and he saw me throwing darts at his picture! And he probably still loves me after all that because he’s got a huge fucking heart! He can’t love me, Zayn! We won’t work! I’m like the Grinch, I have a heart three sizes too small and he’s in love with me! Harry is in love with the Grinch!” Louis cries and buries his head into Zayn’s neck. Zayn gives Liam a pointed look over his shoulder and sighs.

“You aren’t a Grinch. Honestly, Louis. You’re great and Harry loves you. So just get off your lazy arse and tell him you feel the same,” Zayn says gently, running his fingers through Louis’ fringe. Liam moves around the table and wraps Louis up in a hug as well. Louis melts into their touches and sighs softly.

“I’ll… I’ll tell him I like him. I don’t want to scare him with love, I need to start small.” He says softly into Zayn’s neck. “But not today, okay? Today I need to sit on the couch and cuddle with you guys and watch stupid shows on Netflix.” He says softly.

“Louis…” Liam starts but Louis stopped him.

“No, this doesn’t mean I’m not telling him or I’m putting it off. I can’t face him today, okay? I need to be here with you guys, in my flat where nobody can judge me for needing to drink water all day and watch trash TV.” He explains, pulling back a bit to look at both of his friends.

They understand so they all separate, and Liam cleans up the kitchen while Louis goes to shower, and Zayn sets up Dance Mom’s, because he knows Louis likes the absolute shittiest trash TV in the world.

After everyone is clean, and the kitchen is spotless, Liam and Zayn settle into the couch with a small space between them for Louis. They know he needs to be squeezed between them to feel safe and secure. Louis comes out in his joggers and a sweater and curls up between his friends to watch TV.

They’ve gotten through with one season by lunch time, and Liam’s gotten up to make them cheese toasties and soup. He’s king of comfort food, and Louis needs that right now. Zayn has confiscated everyone’s phones, so no one is tempted to check their messages and text, but occasionally looks at the phones to see if anyone has texted for something urgent. He notices a few texts from Harry and he slides Louis’ phone screen to unlock it and texts Harry that it’s Zayn and Louis is sickly and needs a day to recuperate, but that tomorrow they would meet for coffee after their lectures. Harry thanks him and says to tell Louis to feel better, and Zayn says he will but right now he can’t. Louis looks too peaceful curled up against his shoulder he can’t ruin it, no matter how much he wants Louis to know, even now after all that Harry has wanted to know, and make sure he’s alright.

The day passes in a blur of dancing, comfort food, and cuddles. Liam carries Louis off to bed when it’s finally time for him to sleep and he tucks him in as well, before setting his alarm.

Liam and Zayn know today was important for Louis. He hit the rock bottom of his love life. He got drunk and survived, he realized he was in love and he survived, and Zayn and Liam both know tomorrow Louis will go see Harry and they’ll talk, and he will still be alive when it’s over. And he’ll end up happier because of it.

|+|

Louis is already waiting at the campus coffee shop when Harry arrives. He’d woken up early and was too anxious, and he couldn’t fall back asleep so he’d just come here and drank about thirty cups of tea. He’s pretty sure the barista thinks he’s crazy and he might be right. He feels pretty crazy.

He sees Harry come through the door and he shoots up out of his seat and then hesitates. He raises his hand to wave, and Harry nods, noticing him from the door. He orders his coffee quickly and walks over to Louis to slide into the seat across from him.

Louis’ wearing a sweater and jeans and he’s got his hands wrapped around the mug for warmth. He looks exhausted from the stress of this meeting and Harry can tell when he looks at him. He doesn’t want to push though, so he just sips his coffee and looks at Louis’ delicate hands.

Louis is fighting the urge to retch and closes his eyes so he can calm himself. He takes a few deep breaths and then lets out a sigh.

“I’m sorry.” He starts out, easing into it. He sees Harry going to speak but he holds up his hand. “No, look. I’m sorry I’ve been avoiding you. That was childish and rude. And I’m sorry you had to see me like that a few nights ago, it’s never that bad I promise. I’m not usually a drunk. I mean, I get drunk a lot, you know that, but never has it gotten that bad.” He says and smiles softly. Harry returns it and plays with the lid of his cup.

“So that was really embarrassing, but it doesn’t happen often. And Zayn and Liam talked some sense into me the next morning, and so that’s why I’m here.” He says and lifts his cup to his lips and sips the tea quickly before setting it down again.

His heart is racing and he doesn’t know if he can actually do this. He doesn’t know if he can really tell Harry he loves him, but he knows he has to. He knows he needs to suck it up and just do it. He needs to get over the fear of rejection because it could potentially lead to something great, and if it doesn’t he has a support system to help. He knows he can do this.

“I love you,” he says and pauses. He watches Harry’s face carefully but the younger lad doesn’t give anything away. He pauses briefly before pressing his lips together and nodding so Louis knows he’s heard.

Louis swallows thickly. “I’m in love with you. It’s that plain and simple. I just had you come into my life and you were this chubby baby face with flour and jam on his face that made stupid puns all the time. And then you became my best friend and I didn’t like to do anything without you. You came to my games and when I lost you would comfort me, and when I won you would make sure I knew how great I did.” He smiles fondly at the memories.

“And it’s more than what you do for me. Because I love the stuff I do for you. I love giving you my body to study, and to help with your classes and I love when you’re in my bed and we eat Chinese food out of the carton like clichés and Harry, when you fall asleep on my chest and you’re snoring, you look so content sometimes, and I just watch you and run my fingers through your hair just so you’ll make that little purring noise. And it’s so weird that you do that but it’s another thing I love.

“So I know, I’m not the best candidate for someone to love back. I know that, believe me. I bailed and freaked, and then I vomited all over you. That’s not exactly the winning characteristics of a boy you want, but Harry,” he breathes in and looks up at the boy, “Harry, I love you, and I want to be good enough for you and I want to try and make this work. And if you don’t love me back or don’t want to try with me or don’t like me that way, then I’ll understand and be your friend and just that. But if there’s any chance you do-“

“Are you done?” Harry asks sharply, his nails digging into the Styrofoam of his cup. Louis is taken aback by the question and he stutters before nodding, his heart sinking in his chest.

But he doesn’t get to be too sad about it because Harry stands up and leans across the table and kisses Louis, and after that it’s like time slows down.

All Louis can feel is Harry’s lips pressed to his. He can feel Harry’s soft lips moving over his own and once he realizes what’s happening he tilts his head up and cups Harry’s cheek, holding him closer than before and sighing contently.

Harry pulls away after a moment but keeps their foreheads pressed together. He opens his eyes after a moment and looks deeply into Louis’. “I love you too. Of course I do, you’re brilliant in every way.” He whispers softly and smiles. “I’ve just- like I’ve never had a proper boyfriend. I’ve never done anything more than kiss boys, and that’s usually when I’m drunk so,” he sighs, “If you can get over that I’m an inexperienced dolt then I’d love to be your boyfriend. I’d love to love you.”

Louis laughs softly and pulls Harry in for another kiss before pulling back and kissing his nose. “Absolutely I would love to be your boyfriend too. It would be a privilege to be loved by you, Harry.”

And Louis thinks that it’s going to be okay. He doesn’t think really, because he knows now it’ll be okay. He knows Harry doesn’t hate him for being a prick, and he knows he can take care of Harry the way he needs. He knows he can be the best version of himself for Harry.

|+|

Everything after that is a breeze. Harry still shows up to his footie games, except now he dons Louis’ footie jersey. And Louis grins wider every time he looks into the stands and sees his boyfriend cheering him on with his name across his back.

He takes Harry on dates, romantic ones at expensive restaurants with candles on the table, and they have beer nights at the pub, and he takes Harry on trips to the art museum even though he thinks it’s boring, because he knows Harry enjoys looking at pretty things. He’s said so more than once when Louis catches him staring.

Louis thinks it’s going pretty good. They’re good. They take it slow and they study together in bed and each Chinese food as always. It’s a lot like before but kicked up a few notches. Louis likes it. And he loves Harry.

He never misses a chance to tell him so. He tells him when they wake up together in the morning, and at night before Harry falls asleep. He tells him at breakfast and every time Harry calls Louis says ‘hello’ and ‘I love you’. He never goes more than a day, even when Harry goes home to see him sister and mum. He Skype calls him at night and they talk and Louis promises Harry that he loves him, and Harry will beam and repeat it back to him.

The only thing different about things now other than the kisses and romantic dates and the ‘I loves you’s', is the messy hand jobs in Louis’ car or in the bathroom stalls at dinner because they cannot keep their hands off each other. Louis knows Harry doesn’t have all the experience, but he’s happy to teach him. And Harry is an eager student.

He loves how glassy eyed and compliant Harry gets when Louis shows him something new. He tangles his fingers into his curls and guides him down onto his cock until Harry is gagging and tears are streaming down his cheeks. He says he doesn’t mind the force of it all, but Louis is still hesitant. He’s less worried about it when Harry admits he fantasies about choking on a cock. And Louis can definitely help him with that.

But aside from their little sexual explorations they don’t go further. Louis doesn’t want to push it and Harry’s promised to tell Louis when he’s ready. Louis is patiently waiting until the day finally comes when Harry says he wants to.

They’re lounging back in Louis’ bed and they have the flat to themselves, Liam and Zayn having left to go to a concert and had said they’d be back tomorrow. Louis is kissing Harry, slow and lazy and letting his tongue slide along Harry’s lip and taste him and then travel into his mouth to run along the roof and press against his tongue to tease him. Harry whines and presses his body closer to Louis so he molds against him and Louis can feel the bulge in his jeans, and he smirks. He moves to unzip him so he can wrap his fingers around the boy’s cock, but Harry stops him.

“No,” he breathes softly and his pupils are blown wide, and his lips are red and puffy from all the kissing. “No, want you. Want all of you Louis,” his voice is gravelly and breathy and deep, and Louis thinks he could come from that alone. He also thinks he wants to ruin this boy more.

“You’re sure?” He asks softly and sits up in between Harry’s legs. “You know you don’t have to.” He says and rubs his fingers over Harry’s hips soothingly. Harry nods quickly.

“I know I don’t have to, but I’m ready now.” He assures and bites his lower lip. Louis nods quickly and leans up to kiss him gently. He whispers how much he loves Harry, and Harry smiles and whispers it right back.

It’s all a blur from there, Louis taking Harry apart with his fingers and tongue. He strips him slowly and kisses along every inch of skin, worshiping his body. He gets Harry completely naked and then fingers him open until he’s a sweaty, quivering mess.

It’s not the most adventurous sex Louis’ ever had, but he loves it more than all the other times, because he’s got Harry spread out on his bed, fucking into him slowly so Harry can fee every bit of pain and pleasure there is. Their fingers are intertwined and their lips brush and they whisper together and Louis never stops telling Harry how absolutely beautiful he is.

They fall asleep together after, Louis cleans Harry up, because he’s basically a big lump of jelly after he’s come. Louis thinks it’s adorable though. And after using the wet flannel to clean Harry’s arse and tummy, he throws it aside and nudges Harry into being the little spoon. He kisses the back of his sweaty neck and whispers once more how much he loves him, and then they fall asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> ill add my tumblr here later when i can and of course my beta again, shay is the bomb diggity. And to the girl this fic is for, i hope you adore it :)


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